Hello friends, supporters, and family,
It’s Chloe here. Sorry it’s been so long. As some of you may know, I have decided to not go on the World Race: Gap Year. This may come as a shock, but let me assure you that there is reasoning and God working behind the scenes in all these life changes I have had.
Leading Up to My Decision
If you have seen my testimony post on here you know how I have struggled with mental health in the past. After bootcamp I had a lot of big things change in my personal life. I was struggling with my mental health and the more I prayed to God to heal the pain in my heart he began to open some doors for me in ways I had not expected at all. People and opportunities in my hometown started to show up right when I needed it. I had an amazing family enter my life and begin to pour love and support into me, and it was a miracle.
Along with those experiences I begin to see how people cared about me, only after being away from home and getting accepted into the World Race. God opened my eyes to show me that I don’t need to go across the world to find love and purpose. He showed me that in the midst of struggles I needed to pour my energy into my relationship with him, not other people. The more I talked to mentors and past racers, the more I saw how my mental health was not stable enough for that commitment right now. A whole world has changed since I was accepted back in March of this year. So I began to wrestle with God whether this was the right choice for me to go on The World Race.
The Door That Closed
It was a painful few weeks of going back and forth, and talking with every mentor and friend I could. But as many dear people gave me their input the conversation always ended the same: “Chloe, at the end of the day you need to talk to God about it and make the decision yourself” And they were right. I wanted someone to choose for me to somehow make it less painful. No choice would be without struggles. If I choose to stay I would be grieving the new friendships I had made at camp (shout out to squad I, you guys hold a special place in my heart), I would miss an opportunity, and be stuck with deciding what to do now that I was staying. On the flip side it would be extremely ill timing and straining to put myself in a new environment when my mental health wasn’t stable. I have never done missions before which is why it was so new to me. And I would be missing opportunity back at home to kindle relationships with people and focus on healing my heart from my mental struggles.
See how tricky it was?
There was so much that went into the decision making progress, and I share this not because I need to explain myself but I want you to see how God was working through all that struggle and pain.
The Door That Opened
So I decided I am staying back. Through all that God showed me so many things about myself in just those few weeks where I went back and forth. He showed me the true colors and intentions of close friends and family, places in my own self I needed to work on, and how supported and loved I was either way. My heart felt lead to stay, and I couldn’t understand why, but I chose to listen to the gut feeling I had and trust the Lord.
Already I am seeing some of the reasons God was leading me this way, and focusing on healing and working on my relationship with God and my loved ones has been a blessing.
But I couldn’t shake the feeling that somehow God still wanted me to do missions. So I started to look at my options and ultimately I decided to use the funds from all my amazing supporters to do a shorter trip, next summer.
What Now?
I am sad to leave my squad and place on The World Race Gap Year, but through Adventures In Missions, I will be doing a one month Semesters trip next summer! The details are not out yet where I am going or when, but I will post on here as soon as I know. All my funds will be transferred over and none will be lost, thank God!
I’m also planning to go on a shorter week or two week long trip with Adventures in Missions in the spring before I leave for my one month trip.
I want to thank all of you for your prayers and support, I am forever grateful for all the love I have received. Please continue to pray for my trip next summer and the rest of my squad that is leaving for the World Race in less than a month.
Keep subscribed to my blog to get updates about my upcoming trip and feel free to reach out with any questions!
Lots of Love,
Chloe Morales
We will miss not getting to meet you in person. But it sounds like you have made a wise choice. The fruit will be evident.
Hey Chloe, I’m sad to hear you go but I know it’s so important and healthy to listen to where God is leading. Deciding to stay isn’t easy and you’ll be missed for sure, but I know God will do great things through your obedience!!