“When you, God, went out before your people, when you marches through the wilderness, the earth shook, the heavens poured down” Psalms 68:7
Every child of God has gone through trials of many kinds. And I believe God gives us these mountains to help prove to the fearful that it can be overcome. That is he has used my story. My testimony of over coming depression, suicidal thoughts, and finding my faith when I was furthest from him.
My story begins in Kansas City, Kansas where I was born. I grew up in a Christian home, going to church, and having devotionals as a family. I was an optimistic child and had big dreams for my life. But as most children, the more you grow up the more painful the world becomes. I had to move a lot so I started to feel left out and alone early on. My trials with keeping friendships and managing my anger became harder and harder.
I moved to the Kansas City, Missouri area in my 7th grade year and this move hit the hardest, I was leaving Kansas where I finally felt at home and once again, I was stripped of what I knew as home. I began to fall further away from God the more I was exposed to non-believers. I began to experience intense anxiety around friends and strangers. I got in the wrong friend group of toxic people and began to repulse the idea of Christianity. I would try to find a reason to disbelieve in him and “debunk” what I grew up knowing.
I had a difficult family situation which fed into my belief that live was not worth living. It was “too hard” and my depression and pain began to fill up. I lost all sense of Jesus in my heart, I did and said horrible things, and fell into deep depression. I couldn’t go a day without wanting to end my life and began to starve myself.
The emptiness in my heart was undeniable. I was in the darkness of the wilderness.
Until one day God blessed me with the miracle of a person. He invited me to his youth group and showed me love when I needed it most. I began to distance from the toxic people and went to church again. I still was doubtful and was afraid to confront Jesus. I was at the edge of this wilderness I had been walking towards and I saw light ahead for the first time in so long.
One talk, with one pastors wife, changed my life. I was pulled aside and she told me her story. She said she too was depressed at my age, had a similar family life, and was lost. She asked me if I wanted to be be changed. If I wanted to accept Jesus, so I, too, could fill that empty void. I burst into tears knowing that I needed God.
I prayed the prayer of salvation and admitted that Jesus was real, he died for me, and I was a sinner who needed him. A weight was lifted off my shoulders.
That night, driving home from youth group, I saw a miraculous rainbow. It hadn’t rain, it was just there. It reminded me that I was finally out of the woods.
“I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents” Luke 15:10.
God has changed my heart in so many ways, not only to I love and appreciate the delicate gift of life, but I love my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ. It was so hard before to love others, myself, and God. But Jesus changed my heart. Anyone who knew me can say with confidence how much I have changed.
I am filled with the Holy Spirit and though my life is not perfect, I have a perfect father in Heaven who patiently waited for me to walk the walk, and overcome my mountain. He opened his arms wide, and completely changed my life.
He can do that for you too, open your heart and eyes to him. He is waiting for you. He loves you deeper than any human could imagine. He changed my life, and he can change you too.
Look to the heavens and through the trees in the wilderness you walk through, there is light.
Thank you for reading my testimony, I hope it was inspiring and helps you get to know me a little better. If you could please pray for me as I embark on the World Race to spread the good news to countries in need.
Donations are accepted through AIM (Adventures in Missions) linked on my home page, or contact me to give direct donations to support my mission.
Lots of Love,
Chloe Morales
Way to be Chloe! So fascinating to hear about your journey and how it led you to freedom in Jesus – that’s awesome! I’m really proud of you, my dear granddaughter!